13. Reading. Body language

 

 

93 per cent of our communication with others is nonverbal. What we actually say makes up only 7 per cent. That’s what US scientist Ray Birdwhistell found out when he began to study body language in the 1950s. He filmed conversations and then played them back in slow motion to examine gestures, expressions and posture. When he noticed the same movements happening again and again, he realized that the body can talk too.

 

We use our bodies all the time. We nod instead of saying “Yes”, shrug our shoulders to mean “I don’t know” or raise our eyebrows to show surprise. The way we sit or stand, the expression on our face can reveal far more than words. But many of us miss these signals, because we don’t know what they mean.

 

For example, if a friend is fibbing to you, he starts blushing. He is embarrassed because he knows he isn’t telling the truth. Sometimes he looks away while he is talking. That’s because our eyes can reveal what we are thinking. Boys tend to look at the ground when they’re lying, while girls look at the ceiling. If they put a hand over their mouth, it’s another signal they’re lying.

 

Imagine you’re asking your teacher for a few more days to finish your homework. As you talk, she starts rubbing her ear. This is a signal that she doesn’t want to hear what you’re saying.

We use folded arms as a defensive barrier to protect ourselves when we feel nervous or think someone is criticizing us. So, if you’re making a point in a discussion, and the others fold their arms, you’d better give up! You won’t convince them, even if they say they agree with you.

 

A loud, hollow laugh is an obvious sign of nerves. And how much space we take up when we’re sitting down also shows whether we feel confident.

 

In fact body language gives away our true feelings so often that politicians are taught not to touch their faces, as placing their hands near the mouth or eyes demonstrates insecurity and suggests an attempt to cover up what you really think.

So you can follow these tips to your own advantage. For example, you’ve met somebody who you’d like to get to know better. Look him in the eyes - it shows you’re sincere. When he is talking, lean slightly forward towards him and tilt your head on one side. This gives him the message “I’m interested and I’m paying attention”. Imitate his gestures.

 

But be careful! Don’t be too obvious or he’ll think you’re making fun of him. If you want to look confident and full of energy, you may wear bright clothes or something you like and feel you look good in. And you should smile and be relaxed. If you feel pretty tense, you should gently shake your arms and legs to release all the tension. This will stop you from looking embarrassed or awkward. When you hold your back straight and lift you chin slightly, this creates an impression of self-confidence and pride.

 

1. But  signals, because we don’t know what they mean.

 

2. Imagine you’re   few more days to finish your homework.

 

3. And you   .